Momentos graciosos en clase

A few of the highlights of my classes so far:

Activity on the kids' ideal school:

Q. Who is the school for?

A. 'It's for beutifol girl and me.'

Q. What classes would be on offer?

A. 50 Cent gives raping class. (A most unfortunate spelling error.)

Q. 'What are the teachers like?'

A. 'Can I write: “I like Claire?”'

Activity on describing photographs:

I handed out a photograph to each pair of pupils and asked them to guess what they thought was going on in the picture. I purposely didn't give two 13 year old boys a photo of me and a particularly buxom pal at a wedding, because I knew that their little hormones probably couldn't take it, but they leaned over the desk and looked at it anyway. 'Woooah,' one said to the other, 'qué melones tiene!' (basically, 'her tits are like melons.') The funniest part was when he realised that I had understood him ('Joooderrr, ha entendido!! Perdón!!')

A letter to Santa:

Activity: Please make a list of all the things you would like for Christmas.

Answer: 'A girlfriend.'

Trying to encourage the pupil in question to write a little bit more, I asked him to describe his fantasy woman. 'What would she look like,' I asked, 'Tall? Blonde? Would it be a famous person?' All he replied was: 'I don't care, I just want her to be normal and not lie to me.' Pobrecito, apparently his heart had been broken before he'd even hit puberty.

Activity: Complete the sentence – 'Santa, if you cannot bring me all the things that I want, please...'

Answer: 'Die.'

Predictions for 2012:

Activity: Make predictions for your classmates in a number of different categories.

Health: “Claire, cómo se dice vas a tener una enfermedad de transmisión sexual?” (“Claire, how do you say you're going to get an STI?”)

Half way through this class, one boy asked me how to translate 'tu te jodes.' I told him that a good way of putting it would be 'you're fucked', depending on the context (with the added caveat that he should NOT normally say this in the classroom!) When I collected his answers, he'd written:

Love prediction - In 2012, you will get married. You're fucked.

Sometimes I love my pupils.